Blocked!

Yes, I do remember the password to my blog, forgetfulness is not the cause of my lame blog upkeep. My problem I am having the toughest time thinking of anything to blog about. I’ve logged on to blogger at least a dozen times to start writing something only to find I have no idea how to finish in a funny, succinct, or even intelligible way. Here’s a list of the top 10 posts that weren’t:

10. 15 items or less: my rant on trying to buy one item at the grocery store where everyone thinks they’re priveliged enough to use the express lane.

9. A tale about the time I accidentally showed my landlady lesbian porn (a long story.)

8. Noelle’s gardening tips: patience with impatients.

7. A laundry list of things that bug me in movies: dial tones on hung-up calls, continuity errors, everything in X-Men 3.

6. An homage to restaurants that cater to people suffering from OCD; the buffet in Vegas that always had the jam arranged properly in the caddies, and the deli in SoHo that serves the fruit salad in a cup in rainbow order (strawberries, cantaloupe, pineapple, honeydew, blueberries, grapes.)

5. John Lennon wasn’t the only beetle to live here: A thrilling look at all the species of bugs that exist within my walls! Did you know that 95% of life on the planet is smaller than a chicken egg, and can therefore squeeze through the cracks in my cottage?

4. A rundown of my weekend in the Hudson Valley: antiques, old hippies, and sleeping in.

3. An open letter of apology to the government of Andorra.

2. Some random Harry Potter fanfic, tentatively titled “Harry Potter and the half-blood artist formerly known as Prince.”

1. A complete rundown of my sex life, including pictures.

Gimme feedback! In the comments section, let me know which of these 10 posts you want fleshed out (so to speak on #1!) If I’m dedicated to one topic, one of popular request, I may just be able to break through the block.

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5 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by mermu on June 1, 2006 at 7:22 pm

    I vote lesbian porn with the landlady!

  2. Posted by Noelle on June 1, 2006 at 7:44 pm

    You only are voting for that because you didn’t see her skinnydipping in the pond while trying to deliver the rent check today.

  3. Posted by Alyson on June 1, 2006 at 8:29 pm

    I wanna hear about the things that bug you in movies! why? b/c roommate and boyfriend hate watching movies with me b/c I nit-pick all the mistakes. You got me hating the dial tone with someone gets hung-up on. The worst is when they include a dial tone when someone is making a cell phone call or gets hung-up on on a cell. grrrr. I hate when they show restaurant/dinner scenes and every time they go back to the person talking their glass is more or less full than it was before but they haven’t taken a sip.

  4. Posted by FDP on June 2, 2006 at 6:14 pm

    um, #3, 6, & 7 all work for me…i am totally OCD, about the oddest things. Just ask KJW.

  5. Posted by Anonymous on June 2, 2006 at 9:13 pm

    Elizabeth says:

    Please, NOT number 1…….don’t forget your mother is a faithful reader of your blog!

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