$240 worth

Earlier this evening, I had to make an emergency run to the 24 hour Stop & Shop to buy a box of vanilla pudding* and it made me miss Manhattan so much. At my old place, my late night pudding needs could be filled by the bodega nestled at the end of my street. Two minutes and $4.99 later, that box of pudding was mine. Tonight, I had to get in the car, start the car, wait for it to warm up (you see, it doesn’t go into gear until it’s cozier than my cat in a pile of down comforter), get blinded by the asshat driving with his brights on, drive 5 miles to the grocery store, purchase my pudding, spend 10 minutes trying to find the perfect wedding card**, pay $0.89 for pudding, make chit-chat with the checkout girl “no that wasn’t a shooting going on outside, someone set of fireworks in the parking lot,” hop back in the car, drive another 5 miles, finally make it home.

*I’m going to a wedding this weekend, and the pudding is an integral part of my wedding present. I’d explain how, but I don’t want to alienate my readers.

**I dislike any kind of card that isn’t funny, so buying wedding cards is a real pain in the ass because they’re all sentimental. Most invoke some deity, and I can’t get behind that, and I don’t think the couple getting married can either. Almost ALL of them have glitter, which is like saying, “I admit this present and this card really are for the woman, let’s not pretend that the groom is willing to cross the room to read this card.” Many of them have these didactic statements about what marriage is. “Marriage is a commitment.” “A union between two souls is a sacred thing.” “Don’t forget to give your in-laws the best goats.” All the remaining cards have rhyming couplets, and that simply makes me angry. In the end I spun in a circle three times and pointed to a card at random. Boy, are they going to love the “So sorry to hear of your grandmother’s passing” card! I glued some glitter on it to make it more appropriate.


2 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by Man of Action on September 12, 2006 at 12:53 am

    Isn’t the internet wonderful?

    YouTube link

  2. Posted by Birmingham on September 13, 2006 at 1:26 am

    You see, first I cook…..then I chill!!!!

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