mo’ money, mo’ problems

While going through some old receipts last night, I found that I accidentally grabbed the signed copy of my last grocery store run which should have landed in the cashier’s drawer instead of my wallet. And in that moment, an easy-money plan blossomed in my head which involved me claiming I didn’t actually spend $66 on Cranapple juice and kitty litter last Sunday the 25th of March, because some impostor took my card, signed my name. Then, when they try and pull the slip to prove the forgery, there will be no slip, because it’s IN MY WALLET! While I dreamed of all the things a cool $66 can buy (new sheets! MORE kitty litter! world domination!) the plan started to crumble when I realized I’d probably have to report my card as stolen, actually make an unnecessary trip to the grocery store, and lie successfully to multiple authorities. But I ask you: what kind of world do we live in where a girl can’t make a profit off of a surly prepubescent Stop & Shop employee’s mistake?

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7 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by stefanie on April 2, 2007 at 4:51 pm

    That is a fine question indeed. What IS this world coming to?

    Also, Target for some reason never processed a $77 transaction I made with my bank card last May. Every month, when I balance my checkbook (yes, I still balance my checkbook; I’m well aware I’m in the minority on that), I have to adjust for that $77 that’s not been deducted. How long before I can just assume they’ll never find that error and consider that money mine again?

  2. Posted by Kelli on April 2, 2007 at 7:21 pm

    This kind of reminds me of all those signs you see in take-out restaurants that say “If we forget to give you your receipt your meal is free!” I always stand in front of the cashier mentally WILLING them to forget my receipt yet they never, ever do. I mean, is there REALLY no such thing as a free lunch?

  3. Posted by lizgwiz on April 2, 2007 at 7:54 pm

    How much Cranapple and kitty litter will $66 buy these days? Not nearly enough, I’m sure. I’ve never wanted to actually calculate how much I spend on kitty litter a month–it would be too depressing.

  4. Posted by NancyPearlWannabe on April 2, 2007 at 10:44 pm

    Usually I let my wallet get so filled with receipts that I can no longer close it, then I shred them all up at once. The last time I did I found THREE signed copies that I should’ve left behind. It’s like Target wants me to have free things.

  5. Posted by Noelle on April 3, 2007 at 1:01 pm

    stefanie – that’s a hard call! The moment you ignore it, they’ll probably find it, although isn’t there some kind of statute of limitations?

    kelli – seriously, they never ever forget, because I hope the same thing.

    lizgwiz – full disclosure, there were some other items on the ticket, but those were my two big important purchases.

    NPW – You’re such a valued customer, I’m sure they wouldn’t mind if every third order was free.

  6. Posted by Larak on April 3, 2007 at 1:46 pm

    The whole credit card signature thing is a joke. Take a look at these:
    The Credit Card Prank
    The Credit Card Prank II

    And besides that, many fast food places won’t even ask for a signature if the order is under $20 or so.

  7. Posted by Mermu on April 4, 2007 at 2:33 am

    Hey….is your last name “Halliburton”?

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