Ice Cream Mama’s Fun Monday, James Lipton Style

I have a friend who attended the Actor’s Studio, so I know the real story about James Lipton’s show, and I agree that it lost its focus (having professional actors discuss their method, especially if their method is “method.”) the moment JLo was considered a viable interview subject. However, when I saw that Ice Cream Mama proposed doing a “Fun Monday” by having a meme of Lipton’s famous questions, I thought it might be fun. So here goes:

  • 1. What is your favorite word?
    Obsequious. Not for its meaning, but ever since I memorized it for the SAT’s in high school, it’s the one that stuck with me. I want to save it from being obliterated from the English language, but “she’s such a suck up” flows much more naturally.
  • 2. What is your least favorite word?
    Mouth Feel
  • 3. What turns you on (creatively, spiritually or emotionally)?
    Back rubs. And comments on my blog.
  • 4. What turns you off?
    Failures to communicate.
  • 5. What is your favorite curse word?
    Cocksucker. I’ve also started using Battlestar Galactica’s made up swear, “frak.” It really catches people off guard, therefore working better than a real swear.
  • 6. What sound or noise do you love?
    I’m loving the sound of the rain hitting the exhaust fan in my roof right now, it reminds me of the tin roofs of the cabins at summer camp. However, it made getting out of bed an even bigger challenge than normal.
  • 7. What sound or noise do you hate?
    Ice. I cringe at the sound of it clinking in a glass, breaking upon contact with water or crunching underfoot on a cold day. Just writing this has become painful.
  • 8. What profession, other than your own, would you like to attempt?
    Theatrical director. For about an hour after graduation, I was on that track, but I stuck with stage managing because I didn’t have the gumption to get out there and direct.
  • 9. What profession would you not like to attempt?
    Location Manager. Oh wait, I already did attempt that. Other than that, see any career that’s been featured on “Dirty Jobs.”
  • 10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
    You were right, I don’t exist. Furthermore, the concept of your spirit continuing to exist in a physical place is completely implausible. However, it’s your lucky day. Won’t you please enjoy this paradise full of your dead loved ones, warmth, and all the food you can eat for the rest of eternity?
  • If you want to play along, leave your answers in the comments!

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    21 responses to this post.

    1. Posted by stefanie on April 16, 2007 at 1:30 pm

      I live in a cave, apparently, and have no idea who James Lipton is, but I just have to say your last answer cracked me up.

    2. Posted by Beccy on April 16, 2007 at 1:37 pm

      I loved your last answer too, wish I’d thought of putting it so eloquently in my post!

    3. Posted by dodo on April 16, 2007 at 3:17 pm

      ah – wish i’d thought of the ice one too – the sound makes my teeth hurt

    4. Posted by ChrisB on April 16, 2007 at 3:29 pm

      Now ‘frak” sounds a good word to use. Blog comments, now why didn’t I think of that one! I think you last answer is brilliant.

    5. Posted by The very nice man on April 16, 2007 at 3:47 pm

      To your last question:
      God designed it that way to keep wise-arses out of heaven, heehee!

    6. Posted by lizgwiz on April 16, 2007 at 5:01 pm

      Oh, I love the James Lipton questions. (I know a guy who got the job of James Lipton’s assistant for the show a few years ago, and I blame him directly for the subsequent decline in quality. He convinced me to be in a show he was directing years ago, and it was one of the worst theatrical experiences of my life, so I don’t mind blaming him, whether he had anything to do with it or not.)

      I won’t be able to resist joining in this meme fun sometime this week, I’m sure. It’ll be hard to top “obsequious,” though. Good one!

    7. Posted by Hope V on April 16, 2007 at 7:20 pm

      Is it sad that the only reason I know The Actor’s Studio is because of Saturday Night Live? So many things I am only aware of due to SNL skits.

      I loved the one with Kate Hudson as Drew Barrymore. And for the record, your post was magical. Just magical.

      And to close…Drew Barrymore’s response to the last question.

      James Lipton: Nor they you. And finally, if heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive?

      Drew Barrymore: Um, “Hey, Drew Barrymoore, you have treated people with such care, tender care, and kindness. You smell like flowers.

    8. Posted by Amy W on April 16, 2007 at 8:07 pm

      Here is a comment to make you feel creative! Great answers!

    9. Posted by Stephanie on April 16, 2007 at 9:20 pm

      Hee! My husband uses the word “frak” All. The. Time!

    10. Posted by Anonymous on April 16, 2007 at 10:03 pm

      Thank you, Noelle, for allowing me to live out my James Lipton fantasies. At least, some of them…

      1. What is your favorite word?

      I’ve always liked ‘ardor,’ but ‘munificence’ does in a pinch.

      2. What is your least favorite word?

      In spite of my predilections, I hate the word ‘boner.’

      3. What turns you on (creatively, spiritually or emotionally)?

      Dry dry humor.

      4. What turns you off?

      Talking about “Art.”

      5. What is your favorite curse word?

      The old standard: Mother fucker. Or any qualification thereof, such as, Mouthy mother fucker, or ass-eating mother fucker.

      6. What sound or noise do you love?

      Wind in trees.

      7. What sound or noise do you hate?

      The cars that play Daytona 500 on my block every so often.

      8. What profession, other than your own, would you like to attempt?

      Architect.

      9. What profession would you not like to attempt?

      The guy at Kinko’s whose responsibility is to bind booklets with that thin wire that comes in various colors.

      10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?

      Mother fucker.

      –The Grey Boy

    11. Posted by NancyPearlWannabe on April 16, 2007 at 11:55 pm

      5. What is your favorite curse word?
      Sadly, it’s motherfucker. I try hard not to say it in polite company. Or at school.

    12. Posted by -R- on April 17, 2007 at 3:16 am

      Mouth feel? That just sounds gross.

    13. Posted by Aaron on April 17, 2007 at 11:03 am

      The grossest word ever, ever in the History of the World is panties. Moist comes a close second. Together, they make me want to puke up my Pop Tarts.

      I’m just saying.

      Also, if I was on ITAS, I’d answer “James Lipton’s voice” for “least favorite sound”. Just to watch his bearded little face fall in shame and dismay.

    14. Posted by Noelle on April 17, 2007 at 12:30 pm

      stefanie – You should be grateful for that cave, then!

      beccy – Thanks. It’s the one drawback to being an atheist, there’s no cozy afterlife myth to make dying a little less scary.

      dodo – I’m glad someone else shares my ice hatred! I get teased a lot for that one.

      chrisb – thanks! Please feel free to use “frak” as much as possible.

      TVNM – If you say so…

      lizgwiz – Isn’t it so nice that we have someone to blame for the crap on TV?

      Hope – The SNL parody is in so many ways better than the original!

      Amy – Thanks! And welcome to the blog!

      Stefanie – you are one lucky woman, then.

      Grey boy – Thanks for playing! I always wanted to be an architect as well, and I hate talking about art. I had a dream last night that I drove to MN to see you on a whim. I may just do that.

      NPW – you are the coolest motherfucking librarian I know.

      -r- – it is such an icky phrase.

      aaron – Panties would have been my second choice, no doubt. And I would love to see you tell Lipton that to his face!

    15. Posted by xsquared on April 17, 2007 at 2:47 pm

      “Frak” has become a favorite curse around our house, due to our new-found love of Battlestar Galactica. We must have been under a rock the last few years to have missed it, but we’re making up for lost time (thank you, Netflix!)

    16. Posted by Anonymous on April 17, 2007 at 4:54 pm

      my favorite word is discombobulated and swear word is fuckity fuckerson. i am turned on my potty humor, and turned off by foot wigglers. i hope that god tell me that it is ok to eat cake and pizza again when i reach kirsten heaven. my favorite sound is that beautiful noise my ipod makes through the earphones.

      – kir

    17. Posted by Meghan on April 17, 2007 at 6:22 pm

      I have also started adopting the word “frak.” At first, I was using it ironically, but now it’s just part of my vocabulary. Glad I’m not alone in this.

    18. Posted by Brando on April 17, 2007 at 10:15 pm

      Aha, we share the same answer with #5! There’s just certain times when that’s the go-to word for me.

      Hope’s also right about SNL — the biggest boost to Lipton and Inside the Actor’s Studio ever.

    19. Posted by NancyPearlWannabe on April 17, 2007 at 10:59 pm

      Oh, and I also thought you should know: I just added Battlestar Galactica to my netflix queue. I must know what your references mean!

    20. Posted by Mermu on April 18, 2007 at 5:51 am

      I too like the word frak. I don’t mind moist either. Silicon is kind of stupid though.

    21. Posted by Noelle on April 18, 2007 at 12:52 pm

      xsquared – if it weren’t for Birmingham, I would have completely missed this show as well. Welcome to it!

      kir – discombobulated is indeed a wonderful word! I hope that you get to have all the gluten you can handle someday!

      meghan – it’s just such a great swear! I used it yesterday when I gave my hubcap a dent on the curb.

      brando – you’re right, Lipton was nothing without SNL.

      NPW – Welcome! (you are starting with the miniseries, right?) Feel free to email me when you’re done if your mind isn’t too blown!

      mermu – I forgot about moist. It’s up there with one of my least favorite!

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