My Inner Monologue While Doing the Weight Circuit at Planet Fitness "No Judgements" Last Night:

…I am going to lift so many weights tonight that you’ll see the difference by morning… I’m glad the 30 minute weight circuit room is empty, that way I’ll be able to do MORE REPS on each machine!… Come to think of it, I don’t really like this overhead press machine, it makes my elbow hurt and not in a good way… I think that ten bicep curls should suffice if I really mean it when I do them… I’m dubious about the effects of the ab crunch machine, I’ll do sit-ups later instead… It’s a good thing the weight circuit room is empty, that way no one will care if I skip the leg press!… I’m pretty sure that I’ll get a strong leg workout in swimming tomorrow… I’m going to put a paragraph break here just to make it easier for everyone to read…

I am definitely skinnier than that girl… and only a few squats away from having that girl’s ass… And by that I mean I will have the same definition in my butt as she has in hers, not that I want her in a gay way… Geez, head, get out of the gutter… I think I’m judging people, and we’re not supposed to do that here… Do you think Planet Fitness has thought police?… Wow, that lady is doing the leg press all wrong, I’ll show her what’s what by putting an extra FIVE POUNDS on this row machine… I’m so great… I think I just broke a sweat, probably time to stop this crazy lifting and do some stretches and abs… Come to think of it, I like to work my ab muscles when I cardio, so I probably don’t need the additional sit-ups… They’re bad for your back anyway… Time for a paragraph break again…

There’s KatieBell from Team Underpants!… (no inner monologue here because I’m having an actual conversation with an actual person)… Wow, I’m glad she’s on our team because with me, the Dutchess of Kickball and her, we are like a holy trinity of cool nerdy girls who wear glasses all the time… Okay, I’m stretching, I’m stretching… I don’t feel comfortable that the chatty girl over there isn’t judging me… I think I’ll do some forward bends with my butt at the wall… What’s up with the girl on the balance ball?… Just because spandex is in style doesn’t mean that you should buy it in white, camel toe… Not that I’m judging you, just thought you should know… I think my quads are shaking a little, I should stop, I’ve been here twenty whole minutes… Don’t forget to grab a tootsie roll on the way out!


2 responses to this post.

  1. I was searching WordPress for anyone who had written about Planet Fitness and I stumbled across your blog. I am also from the Hudson Valley and a member of the infamous Planet Fitness franchise.

    I liked your stream of consciousness writing. It reminded me of an exercise I did in a Beat Generation class I took. Your writing was spontaneous, genuine. Especially the part, “Wow, that lady is doing the leg press all wrong, I’ll show her what’s what by putting an extra FIVE POUNDS on this row machine.”

  2. Posted by Sunshine Mares on January 8, 2012 at 10:14 pm

    That made me laugh, quite a bit. You could have actually been writing the exact thoughts I usually have at the gym. Love it!

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