There was something so pleasant about that place

Nice to see the world kept spinning yesterday when I decided I just didn’t want to write a blog post.  No particular reason for that, really.  I started one, I didn’t like it, so I just stopped.  It was nice to be free from the anxiety I have all day long when I’m constantly checking for new comments on a post, hoping that there are new nice ones, and no anonymous mean ones that got through my filter somehow.

While I was away from the Internet, not much happened in the real world.  I went grocery shopping, got a little further in the Douglas Adams book, and watched the movie “The Kite Runner.”  Which was as always,  not as good as the book, but still pretty good, and made me want to go to Afghanistan, in 1978.  Afghanistan today?  Not so much.

The other thing that happened was the incident that made me decide I need to move.  The landlesbian has always been a funny presence in my life, saying eccentric things and being generally difficult to deal with.  But in the end, I live peacefully in this ramshackle cottage with a great backyard, and she’s usually pretty quiet and sticks to her own half of the property.  Additionally, there are six blissful winter months where she lives at her place in the city.

But then a few weeks ago, she deteriorated quickly, and I don’t just mean that she’s calling me “Isabel Archer,” because that made the vaguest sense.  I mean that I come home to find her ranting and raving in the backyard, yelling about the patriarchy, religion, Connecticut, whatever.  The point is that what she’s yelling about isn’t logical and she’s moved into the house next door to me (which has been vacant since my awesome neighbors moved two months ago), and according to the waterlesbian, she’s planning on staying for the entire winter.

The day in question, I came home for lunch, and she was blocking my path, yelling about something.  I told her, “I can’t talk to you when you’re yelling at me, landlesbian” and as I tried to walk by her, she grabbed my shoulder and turned me around and kept yelling.  I got inside after that, but I was shaking.

Directly afterwards, I went to talk to the waterlesbian. (and for the record, no one is really certain what her relationship to the landlesbian is.  She lives on the farm sometimes, but her home address is in another part of the state, and sometime she’s gone for long periods of time.)  She responded quickly to that, and told the landlesbian not do do that anymore and to apologize to me.  The whole thing felt a lot like dealing with an unruly preschooler.  It made me feel sad on top of being scared and shaken.

At the first chance I had, I started looking for a new place.  I did just sign a lease for another year at the cottage, but considering how quickly she’s gotten this bad, I don’t see her getting better, and I think I need to get out.

She is at least coherent enough to cash my rent check.  Damn it.  I was kind of hoping she’d lose that, like the time she left her set of keys in my door when she was replacing the smoke detector.  Those spare keys are still in my possession…

In the meantime, I’m parking my car near the side of the house, and sneaking in the front door in the hopes that she’s in the backyard and won’t notice me.  I try to leave for swimming before 6am, not go home for lunch, to the gym after work, and maybe I’ll go to the coffee shop or somewhere else after the gym.  There are rare occasions when I really want to make dinner or I absolutely need to have a nap after work, and I feel like I’m taking a huge chance of running into her while she’s in a state.  At least I’m going to be gone all this weekend, but I tell you, I wouldn’t be surprised if I came home to find that my home had been burned to the ground.  Saddened, but not surprised.

Anyone know any good one bedroom places five minutes from my work with at least 20 acres of backyard and no landlesbians to speak of?  And in the meantime, does anyone have good advice on how to deal with a legitimately crazy person?


24 responses to this post.

  1. Sounds like someone is off her meds and I don’t mean you! There’s a point where eccentric stops being amusing and becomes scary. She’s reached that point. Maybe a chat with waterlesbian about how landlesbian is disturbing your enjoyment of your home will help.

    She might be off them, if she was ever on them…

  2. Posted by Michelle on August 13, 2008 at 10:04 am

    That sucks. I have no good advice… I’ve dealt with lots of crazy people, nad the advice I’ve gotten has not been so good… Just hang in there and try not to react I guess! Good luck!

    When you’re used to using reason, it’s hard to let go of that.

  3. I think that if you act crazier than said crazy person, that person in turn will not know what to do and will ultimately say “Man..she’s crazy!”

    Or, when she yells at you about something, muster up all the vocal power you can and yell “I know, right!?!” as loud as you can. If it were me, I’d make sure I had some wine in me pre-yelling 🙂

    I like that idea, I bet I can do it without the wine, too!

  4. Posted by lizgwiz on August 13, 2008 at 10:29 am

    Is there an Alzheimer’s-type dimension to this craziness? ‘Cause, if so…yeah, it ain’t gonna get no better. 😦

    Most likely, although she’s not being forgetful, just disoriented.

  5. well shit. what a kook! the best advice i think is to move – but alas i don’t think you are going to be finding something like your house now : (

    maybe she’s just bi polar and will be fine tomorrow? no?

    I think she’s always been bi-polar, but I don’t think she’s getting better from this.

  6. You have to move.

    Back to the city! Then all crazies won’t bother you as much because there’s so many of them.

    That’s true! When you have more than one crazy, then they have someone to talk to!

  7. Oh no! That is just awful! I can’t believe she actually grabbed you like that. Really not okay. I hope you find something great soon.

    Me too. As much as I would like to stay…

  8. that’s really sad. i hope she can get some help. or at least meds.

    unfortunately, the only available 1-bedroom i know of is my very nice condo (which is for sale), but it’s in chicago, which i’m guessing isn’t five minutes from your job. oh and there’s no yard at all. sorry.

    Chicago is a bit of a hike for me.

  9. I’m so sorry to hear that the landlesbian has gone completely insane. It’s sad that you now feel a little scared to be at home because it sounds like you live in a great place. Maybe it will get better?

    The waterlesbian thinks so, but I actually doubt it.

  10. I like Dan’s suggestion 😛

    It sucks that you have to avoid areas of your own home. I hope you can get this resolved one way or another without having to move.

    After a while, avoiding her becomes like a game!

  11. Do you care pepper spray?

    I have no idea. It usually everyone else dealing with me so this beyond my expertise.

    Do be careful though. I wouldn’t take anything for granted.


    I don’t carry pepper spray, I can’t imagine actually having to use it. But thanks to the swimming, I’m pretty sure I can overtake her.

  12. Sad and scary.

    You shouldn’t have to avoid going home. That sucks.

    Do you think talking to the waterlesbian again would help?

    I talked to her, but she’s a bit deluded to.

  13. Yikes! That is scary. It’s definitely time to move. I’m glad the waterlesbian was there to intervene.

    At least I’m gone this weekend, that will be a help.

  14. Posted by Aaron on August 13, 2008 at 7:23 pm

    I tried to drive by my old apartment over the weekend, but my crazy ex-landlord’s wife was out front, which meant that the “lord” was no doubt around too, so I had to hang a fast right and avoid the whole thing entirely. I wish you the best.

    I believe that once I leave this place, I’m not coming back…

  15. What an awful situation. It sounds like you’ve handled it well, so far, so I guess you should just keep doing what you’re doing. Although being a fugitive from your own home really shouldn’t be part of the deal.

    Yeah, I think I would be thinking about moving too.

    As much fun as it is to be out of the house, sometimes it’s nice just to sit back and chill.

  16. This sucks.

    I’ve dealt with plenty of crazies in homeless shelters, and dementia in my older relatives.

    The training is to go along with it if it’s a confrontation, and not to argue about reality. Yelling back “you’re right!” for example, and then seeing if you can manage to walk by. The other thing advocates say is to not hesitate to call the police. They really are usually trained at assessing calming folks down, and if the system doesn’t know about her escalating problems they can’t offer her any help.

    It totally sucks that you feel like avoiding your own home. So sorry.

    I foresee calling the police in the near future, but I’d really prefer not to.

  17. I used to have my own landlesbian. She was pretty nice, dementia.

    Good luck with the apartment search! May you find a much better situation. I’ve always had horrible landlords, which is why I bought a couple of years ago. Now I just deal with annoying condo boards.

    I would love to buy my own place, that’s the number one choice. But I’m afraid that it’s just not feasible to do that right now.

  18. Good choice to move. That is scary. Honestly, if she touches you again, I say call the police. And have a backup place to stay.

    This is why I need a boyfriend post-haste!

  19. That will be a great selling point to potential suitors – “I’m really hoping to get into a serious relationship quick, because I might need a place to stay.” I think guys like that stuff, right? Heh.

  20. Well, when we had a legitimately crazy person in my neighborhood, my neighbors solved it by calling the police every time she did something crazy. At one point, the police showed up to check on her, and while they were outside her door, she called 911 to claim that the police were injecting poisonous gas under her door. Shortly after that, she was taken away and committed to an institution, and we haven’t seen her since.

    I hope it doesn’t come to that with the landlesbian, but I do hope she gets better somehow soon! You shouldn’t have to move, but you shouldn’t have to be scared of someone at your own home, either.

  21. Posted by Jess on August 14, 2008 at 1:16 pm

    Ick. Scary. Despite the fodder the landlesbian provides for our entertainment, your personal safety is paramount. There’s a spot open in my apartment building. But no cats allowed. And while the Grey Boy and I would be happy, you’d probably have to work from home. And going to the city wouldn’t be quite as easy.

  22. What an odd chain of events. I am not sure what to make of it. So strange. Keep yourself safe but try to live as you always did.

  23. Oh my! I guess just keep practicing avoidance while you search for a new place. Good luck!

  24. Good luck with that. I have no advice for you because my solution to dealing with crazy people is to run away from them.

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