I took a vacation day to spend at home to unpack yesterday.  A brilliant idea if I do say so myself, as it poured rain most of the day and I got a chance to really move in.  At this point, everything’s unpacked but for the decor stuff.  Also, I’m still missing a pair of pants, but that is neither here nor there.

Staying home also gave me a chance to wait for the FIOS people to come in and install my internet.  They were supposed to be there between 8:00am and noon, and they arrived at about two minutes before noon, and didn’t finish the full install until about 2:00.  I was hoping to blog a little after they finished, but then the mail arrived with three shiny un-stolen by the landlesbian Netflixes, so the next three hours were occupied with three episodes of “The Wire.”

So the point here is that I ignored the internet until late at night, and then I had nothing of interest to say that had nothing to do with the cops and robbers of West Baltimore.  However, I from this point on, I’m all internetted, so there’s no reason not to keep the blog up-to-date and keep up with everything you’re doing.

And since I have hundreds of unread items in my reader after missing a day, I’m just going to give you one piece of advice.  If, when unpacking your stuff, you discover that you have a small bag of Southern Comfort flavored coffee that you didn’t know you had, but vaguely remember buying a few years back, just throw that shit away.  This cup of coffee tastes like Blanche Dubois’ armpit sweat, but caffeinated.

Anyone care to share stories of the worst drink they’ve ever had?  Or something random that you found that you didn’t know you owned?


25 responses to this post.

  1. I once thought it would be a great idea to drink an entire glass of so-co and lime shots, really about two cups of straight so-co with a tiny bit of fake lime flavoring. That was a bad idea. The extreme amount of vomiting and day long hangover agreed.

  2. Did you know that alcohols can sometimes go bad?

    I didn’t.

    Don’t try to finish off old liquors before OR after a move. It’s not worth it. Chuck ’em and start from fresh.

  3. Posted by greenpam on September 10, 2008 at 9:35 am

    I bought a bottle of Diet Pepsi from my local Rite Aid. When I took the first sip, I almost puked. Seems that the bottle expired two years ago. Two YEARS ago. And the syrup and soda had separated, and god knows what else happened to it. And it’s not like no one ever buys anything out of this Rite Aid’s coolers and that it’s been laying around RA for months. Sorry, years.

    So I brought it back to the store to (1) get another one and (b) be a good consumer. I informed the cashier/manager that I just got this out of the cooler an hour ago and it’s 2 years old. I thought they should know that their Pepsi distributor is putting (really) old stock on the shelves. She really didn’t care.

    And that’s why I’m never buying soda out of the cooler at Rite Aid again. And also why I check the expiration dates on every food, drink, and every other expire-able item I purchase from now on.

  4. Posted by nancypearlwannabe on September 10, 2008 at 9:42 am

    At a college party we ran out of mixers, so I poured a beer stein full of gin and stirred in some powdered Tang.

    Hence the reason I no longer drink gin. Ever.

  5. Posted by lizgwiz on September 10, 2008 at 10:00 am

    Well, I once drank sloe gin and milk. Surprisingly, it wasn’t all that bad.

    The single worst taste I ever had in my mouth was some sort of locally-brewed beer a friend in Seattle dared some friends and I to buy. I wish I could remember the name, so I could warn people. We bought a bottle, but didn’t get around to drinking it on the trip, so we broke it out a few days after we got home. Three manly men took sips and spat it out instantly. “It tastes like a damm yeast infection!” I, the lone female, was determined to get it down (and strike a blow for feminism, I guess). I got it into my mouth, and then it’s like my throat muscles were paralyzed. There was no way in the world I was going to be able to swallow. I spewed it out, too. Nasty. So nasty. Indescribably nasty.

  6. Remember that Simpsons episode where someone offers Homer either clam juice or Tab, and he’s all, “Ew! Eeeewwww! I’ll take the clam juice.” That pretty much sums up my feelings on Tab.

    Isn’t it nice to have Internet at home? We recently started paying for it and it is soooo nice not to have to go out and sit in the library for a couple of hours every day.

  7. Posted by Kyla Bea on September 10, 2008 at 10:09 am

    I think that tequila followed by run followed by anything else is probably a recipe for total and utter destruction.

    Thank god I’ve learned some moderation over the past few years!!

  8. Gross. Thanks. Really, thanks for that.

  9. Cream-based liquors (like Bailey’s or Sheridans) definitely go off.

    Worst drink ever – when I was about 11, I had a sore throat and cold. (nothing new, I was always sick) My grandmother had read about some great cold cure in Prevention magazine and decided it was worth a try. It was hot water, lemons, honey, garlic and a few other things that I mercifully cannot remember but I think that orange juice was also included. It was vile and reeked to high heaven.

    Sure, it would clear the cold right out of you. Only because it would make you puking-sick instead.

  10. 2 gag worthy drinks: buttermilk and coconut water. they both sound delicious, but noooooo.

  11. Posted by deutlich on September 10, 2008 at 1:23 pm

    zomg, I LOVE the Wire

  12. In Gilroy, CA, just outside of San Jose, they have a garlic festival every year. Gilroy is the garlic capital of the world. And if you don’t believe them, just drive through town and you can SMELL it.

    Anyway, at the garlic fest, they have all sorts of garlic foods – garlic bread, garlic steak sandiwiches, garlic fries, etc. And they also have garlic iced tea. Which tastes as nasty as it sounds.

  13. You keep managing to use the word “pants.” Way to go. And good luck finding them.

    My grandparents’ coffee is the worst. Seriously undrinkable.

  14. Budweiser Chelada. Beer + clamato = horrific awful badness

  15. I randomly found a wonderful dress I had never seen before in the back of my closet (and the perfect fit) just in time for a party I was attending that evening. I think it was the work of a fairy godmother (though more likely something a roommate had left behind).

  16. Posted by Aaron on September 10, 2008 at 6:57 pm

    Missing pants = always funny. It’s science.

  17. Posted by EvilKate on September 10, 2008 at 8:49 pm

    steven segal’s energy drink.

  18. Posted by shane on September 10, 2008 at 9:54 pm

    Oddly enough, I am Right This Minute drinking a $2.99 pinot grigiot from Argentina, mixed with club soda. I’m not minding it.

  19. Do you think the Landlesbian stole your pants? I sort of do. She’s probably wearing them right now, puttering around your garden and babbling to herself about that Isabel Archer girl.

  20. there’s this bottled iced tea company, something claiming to be all natural organic and earth loving goodness, but it tastes like poop. or like armpit. or even like you’re drinking garbage. i’ve tried three flavors, they are all gross.

    too bad i can’t recall the name of these glass bottles teas…

  21. Posted by Sarah on September 11, 2008 at 4:06 pm

    I am always giddy whenever Netflix DVDs appear in my mailbox. Like a present from me to myself.

    I think I’m going to try The Wire when I finish Veronica Mars.

  22. I miss Tang. I might buy some. And lick my finger and stick it in the powder like I used to at summer camp.

  23. My MIL used my husband moving to an apartment in college as a way to get rid of things she didn’t want, so when we moved into our house, I discovered I was the proud co-owner of a molded plastic microwave hot dog cooker, and something called “hot stones” which involves sterno candles and a slab of marble and is probably used at fancy buffets. I know she must have thought he needed these things, because most college boys who don’t eat meat microwave tons of hot dogs and throw fancy buffets like every weekend.

    Your enthusiasm has me sold on The Wire too.

  24. You got FIOS!?!??!?!


  25. I like to watch Veronica Mars episodes as well Lost. I found your blog on google and read a few of your other posts. I just added you to my Google News Reader. Keep up the good work. Look forward to reading more from you in the future.

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