Can I rant about Halloween for a minute?

In theory, I love Halloween.  The mixture of fall decorations, cute costumes, and low humidity is right up my alley.  On the flip side, there’s an influx of slutty costumes that spit in the face of modern feminism, a bit too much cold, rainy weather (like today) and the fact that I have to spend money buying candy for the beggar children.

This month, I made a commitment to spend less money in general, which is why I’m not jazzed about the fact that I dropped $10 on 5 bags of candy at the grocery store last night.

I have no idea if I’ll get many trick-or-treaters at the new apartment, but I would certainly hate to be unprepared and have to turn off my lights at 6:00 and hide in the bathroom lest I get egged for not spending my hard-earned money on proliferating diabetes and obesity in today’s youth.

There’s also a chance that I may not be home on Friday night, because I have a handful of friends who are doing stuff that night, and I might want to join them.  If I’m not home to give away candy, I have all that stuff sitting in the house, tempting me during the month of November.  I suppose I could donate it to a charity, but that just doesn’t feel as altruistic as offering up goods that are not just empty calories, so if I do that, I’ll end up spending about $20 on canned goods in addition to the chocolate so I don’t feel so sheepish when I donate.

When I was a kid, I was a determined little trick-or-treater, and I’m sure I picked up more than $10 worth of candy each year, and that’s in 1980s dollars.  So maybe this is just the case of what comes around going around, but I still can’t shake that annoyed feeling about the candy purchase.  I probably should have kept my wallet in my pocked and printed out a “no candy at this residence” signs that the convicted sex offenders have.  That would be assurance I’d be left alone not just Friday night, but for the rest of the time I live at this apartment.


23 responses to this post.

  1. I don’t remember ever getting trick or treaters at apartments.

    People at my work bring leftover Halloween candy to the office. That’s another option for you. 🙂

    We had them at my old apartment, but there was an “opt-in” program where you put a sign on your door if you had candy.

  2. It’s a shame you and Flurrious don’t live in the same city. You could spend Friday night shaking your fists at youth together!

    Kidding. I’m with you on most of those counts, with the exception of the food shelf thing. I have to admit it has never occurred to me to donate Halloween candy to charity.

    I don’t read Flurrious, did we have a same-theme post today?

  3. All of suburbia is going to be crashing into my front door on Friday night. I’m preparing for the worst.

    Batton down the hatches!

  4. Posted by nancypearlwannabe on October 28, 2008 at 11:20 am

    This is why we made plans to actually go out on Halloween night. And park far away from our apartment. $10 for candy is crazy talk.

    Not a bad plan at all.

  5. We live in an apartment and our door has never had a single knock on Halloween. It’s just as well; I probably wouldn’t answer it anyway.

    I always imagine you living in a tent in the woods, anyhow.

  6. We get a lot of kids from not so safe neighborhoods for Halloween, because our neighborhood isn’t far away, but is reasonably safe, so I like to hand stuff out. The kids we get are always so appreciative and polite. Where I grew up, I remember kids acting like they were just entitled to candy, and that would totally tick me off. But I’m heading to Ohio again and probably won’t be back in time on Friday. I can leave candy with the hubs, but I know he’ll just turn all the lights off and hide anyway.

    I live just on the border of the bad part of town, so I imagine I’m going to get some cross-over kids.

  7. I feel like I need to make a sex offender joke here, but I can’t quite figure out how it would go.

    We have not bought Halloween candy yet for our house because we would just eat it all before Halloween and then have to get more.

    Sex offender jokes are always the trickiest.

  8. The first year I lived in my condo, I was so excited to hand out candy to trick or treaters. Sadly only one kid showed up. So I told him to take a few handfuls. I haven’t bought candy again since. Oh well!

    It’s good to know that.

  9. One of the bonuses of living in a sketchy, cracked-out apartment building is that I’m pretty much guaranteed no trick or treaters.

    My real hate-on for Hallowe’en is how impossible it is to find a cute, non-ho bag costume that’s not too ironic or clever. I swear this year I’m tossing a sheet over me and going as a ghost. Again, if I want to see people squeezed into little slutfits I’ll just look out my front door, thanks.

    I’ve never had a sheet that I disliked enough to do the ghost thing.

  10. Like Mickey said, we never get trick-or-treaters. But that doesn’t stop me from buying candy and eating it all myself.

    I don’t see the costumes so much as a slap to feminism so much as an excuse to release our inner slut for one night. We all have repressed slutiness, right? Or is it just me?

    I suppose you can look at it that way, and I have been slutty once or twice on Halloween, but in the end it comes down to bad body image as well.

  11. Posted by lizgwiz on October 28, 2008 at 12:40 pm

    I have absolutely no problem turning off the lights and hiding in the house. That’s why God made thick, burgundy drapes, right? To mask the TV glow for us crotchety old folks?

    Or at least that’s why Bloodbath and Beyond sells them.

  12. Trick-or-treating isn’t a huge thing in Ireland in general. The community bonfires are the big deal and then teenagers run around setting of fireworks all night. In Dublin, at least.

    It’s much quieter in the Middle of Nowhere, West Cork and it’s nearly sad the way our jack-o-lanterns sit in front of our house, waiting for admirers that never arrive.

    I was in London for Halloween once, and they didn’t quite know what to make of it, either.

  13. Posted by elizabeth on October 28, 2008 at 4:55 pm

    Have you forgiven me yet for letting you dress up as a tea bag?

    Mom, I loved that costume! Especially the way I dropped brown construction paper all over the Elementary school.

  14. I haven’t ever had trick-o-treaters since I’ve been living in an apartment. They don’t ring the buzzers. And I’m not going down three flights of stairs to give them a fun size Snickers.

    Can you bring the candy to work?

    I suppose I can bring the candy to work, but I’m not sure my co-workers deserve it.

  15. i totally didn’t want to spend the money on halloween this year and what do i end up doing? i’m having a party. then what do i end up doing? spend $70 on a halloween costume.

    i’m an idiot!

    Isn’t it always the way?

  16. Trick Or Treating seems like its going the way of the dinosaur and that makes me a bit sad.

    When I was a kid way back when there were lots of kids going door to door in our neighborhood. Everyone knew each other. Neighbors watched out for each other and their kids. I don’t recall having to worry about being kidnapped by a pedophile or getting poisoned candy or apples with razor blades until much later in life.

    Now kids have to go to “safe zones” to go Trick Or Treating. Adult participants have to be pre-screened and have two forms of ID. The treats have to be checked by drug sniffing dogs, scanned with a Geiger counter and passed through an x-ray machine before they are deemed okay to consume by the kiddies.

    I’ll be out on the lawn handing out candy in my Halloween costume and hoping lots of kids come by.

    If we do need leave the house I have a giant skull that I put the candy in and let the kids help themselves.

    A lot of the fun of childhood seems lost these days, but I’m glad you’re still in the costume!

  17. The problem I have with trick-or-treaters in my neighborhood is that they consist of mostly 15 year old dudes who didn’t bother to even get a costume but instead hold out a plastic sack and demand candy.

    Therefore I hide in my house in the dark.

    The 15 year olds are the real scary part of the holiday.

  18. I usually spend Halloween on the floor of our back bedroom watching TV with a blanket tunnel draped over my head and the TV so that no tell-tale blue light creeps out alerting the children outside to the presence of people in our dark dark house. My dog is going to love it.

    Sounds fun, can I join?

  19. i was actually thinking $10 for 5 bags of candy was a steal…

    It was indeed a final reduction sale, but still, it’s $10 I wouldn’t have otherwise spent.

  20. Posted by Tucker on October 29, 2008 at 1:31 pm

    Bring the candy to our house and we can be that cool house on the street that gives out Double Candy!

  21. The sex offender sign is kind of creepy. I guess that’s the point.

  22. You are always welcome to rant about Halloween. I’m with you — I like the decor and cooler weather, but that’s about it.

  23. You KNOW how I feel about the Halloween costumes. I took pictures of my kids tonight in their ‘costumes’. My inlaws came to visit so we weren’t dressing up or going trick or treating – just spending family time. Our next door neighbor, a sweet lady, told me around 5:30 that she had bought Halloween candy just for my kids.

    Hmmm, no costumes.

    So my kids made masks out of disposable plates and went next door. They got Reese’s cups.


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