Happy / Sad

It’s true what they say, once you turn away from the blogosphere for a few days, it’s like being gone for a year.  There’s no way I could possibly sum up the holidays other to say that they were festive, fun, and full of family and friends.  I may just leave it at that, because I also haven’t read a single blog in about two weeks.  But that was in exchange for really enjoying my real life, so that was a happy thing.

In the sad news department, on New Year’s Eve I got word that my last living grandparent, my father’s father, had passed away.  Of all my grandparents, I was the least close to him, mostly because he was an extremely introverted man.  Twelve years ago, my grandma died and took his heart.  A few years after that, con artists took his money.  And a few years after that, dementia took his mind.  And now time has taken his body.  It’s terribly sad for someone go in parts like that, and I know it’s been hard on my father who has had to work with his siblings to make arrangements from eight hours away.

On Friday me and my family are going up to Rochester for a small service and to see my only aunt, uncle and cousins.  We all live all over the place, and no one keeps in touch very well.  I actually know the decedents of my great-great grandfather’s half-siblings (on my mother’s side) better than these folks, who are my more immediate extended family.

But still, there is this odd thing, relations.  I really don’t know them at all, and from what I do know, we have very little in common.  But I’m still looking forward to seeing them just because we do have the same ancestors, and I’m curious to see how much they’ve changed since we’ve last seen each other.

As for my grandfather, I’m sorry he had so much suffering in his last years, and I appreciate the part of him that wanted to hang on despite that.  Over the Christmas holiday, I was telling my mother that even though I don’t believe a supreme being intentionally created all of this, I do think the fact that it happened is amazing.  The chance that any one life can actually make it to frution goes against all odds.  But yet it does, and that needs to be revered.  There is a little spark of something magic in life, that even when explained by science, is still extremely special.  I’m really grateful to have this chance to give it a go, and grateful to my grandparents for being good parents to my parents, and I can’t believe that I now have none left.

What I wouldn’t give to go back to a Christmas day twenty-five years or so, the last time all four of them were alive in a room together.  I’d like to tell them thanks.

24 responses to this post.

  1. I’m so sorry to hear of your grandfather’s passing. My heart goes out to you and your family.

  2. i’m sorry for your loss; it must be rough that it happened over the holidays. i don’t have any grandparents left, either, but i wish i could have thanked them when i could have, too.

  3. I have on grandparent left and she keeps herself deliberately aloof. That I find more difficult than the idea of her passing.

    My sympathies to you and yours, Noelle.

  4. What a beautiful post! I love your thoughts on life and how amazing it really is. I think it’s more amazing when thinking of it in terms of occurring without a master architect.

    I’m so sorry to hear about your grandfather.

  5. Sorry to hear about your grandfather. It is hard to watch people you love get older and sick. My thoughts are with you and your family.

  6. what a sad sad story. i’m so sorry he had to go through all of that and sorry about the loss for your family.

    but on a happy note, i’m glad you like your socks! : )

  7. I’m so sorry about your grandfather’s passing, and his illness – I hope that your family is doing alright.

  8. I’m so sorry to hear about your grandfather.

  9. My hear goes out to you and your family, I am so sorry.


  10. Posted by lizgwiz on January 2, 2009 at 12:17 pm

    My sympathies on your loss.

    I had all four of my grandparents until I was 27, and didn’t lose the last one until I was 40. I consider it a great blessing.

  11. ((hug))

  12. I am sorry about your grandfather. Losing grandparents is a tough thing. Hugs to you and your family.

  13. I am so sorry, Noelle. I hope the family can come together and console each other, and maybe celebrate your grandfather’s life.

  14. I’m sorry to hear of your family’s loss. It sounds like he still touched your life, despite the fact that you couldn’t be that close to him.

  15. I’m sorry about your grandfather. I hope that you and your family find comfort together.

  16. So sorry. There is nothing like grandparents. I hope your trip goes well, love.

  17. Sorry for your loss. ((hug))

  18. Posted by shane on January 2, 2009 at 11:15 pm

    A sad event, but a lovely piece of writing.

  19. Aww, I’m sorry. That’s probably the worst reason to go to Rochester I can think of. 😦

  20. I’m sorry for your loss. You’ve really made me think about my own grandparents, I think I’m going to call my Grandma now. Thanks.

  21. It is one of those phases/milestones (neither of those are the right word… maybe you know what I am trying to say???) in life – becoming a grandparent orphan. It is shocking somehow to find yourself at an age that the patriarchs and the matriarchs of the family are gone, leaving your parents to fill that role.

    I am so sorry for you and your family’s loss. I lost my beloved Nanny in pieces as well (alzheimer’s) but saw it differently. She was such a dynamic part of our family, if we had lost her all at once in the fullness of her personality, it would have hurt more than I can imagine. Because of her disease, we were able to mourn her slowly… to adapt to not having HER in our life.

    Be careful as you travel.

  22. Posted by ladyrock13 on January 4, 2009 at 4:08 pm

    I’m sorry for your loss, I hope he’s back in your grandmother’s arms.

  23. I’m very sorry for your loss.

  24. It’s a shame none of your grandparents are here to read those words, because they sure would be proud.

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