The solution’s in evolution

Hiya.

Remember Monday when I was writing about being depressed?  I want to clarify that I don’t think that I’m bipolar or clinically depressed.  When I feel overwhelmed I get the symptoms that align with clinical depression.  And lately, I’ve been more overwhelmed and stressed than ever before, being in the wrong job and realizing that leaving said job means being exactly where I was in January, albeit with the significant changes of being licensed to sell life and health insurance in New York and Connecticut and without the ability to go on New York State Unemployment this time.

Thinking about all my situation and options and lack of options is occupying much of my time.  Hence, sometimes I put my head down on the pillow and just think, and then I start to cry, and then I can’t get out of bed and it’s all I can do to drag myself to the couch and binge on comfort food and Season 5 of House on DVD while wearing dirty PJ’s and not vacuuming my house.

That’s why when I saw this article on Boing Boing today, I was elated.  It’s a summary of research by two scientists who believe they have found the evolutionary reason for depression.  In short, it doesn’t come from being lazy or malfunctions of the brain, it comes from the mind’s need to sort things out.  The lack of desire to do things and see people may be because we need to be less distracted to analyze a situation.  Our bodies shut down a little to let the mind work.  There are a few ways to work through a depressed period, and one of the best they discovered is expressive writing, which helps put thoughts together.

No coincidence then, that I’ve felt so much better since picking up the blog again, especially after Monday’s post.  I highly recommend clicking over to the article if you ever get down from time to time and wondered if that was serving any purpose.

Since starting this job, I’ve had some major episodes of being seriously down in the dumps, which I was crediting to the nature of the job being very difficult.  But every time I got down, it was worse than the time before.  It took the realization: this job is not right for me, for the pieces of the problem to become clear.  The next step: attack the problem one piece at a time.   So that’s why yesterday when I was at a strategy meeting with the head of the agency I told him straight up that I didn’t want to do this anymore.  He told me I was free to go.  I feel great now.

(I’m sure there’ll be more on the job situation later, details to follow.)

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7 responses to this post.

  1. I’m glad you’re feeling better and everything is open to new possibilities.

    I am thrilled for that post! I totally get where I just can’t accomplish things – sometimes I need to just stay in bed and watch movies for a day or two and then I can face things again – I need to do it. It’s really great to learn that it’s a part of the process and not come sort of major issue.

  2. Good for you! Peace out, stupid job!

  3. I will most certainly be reading the article.

    I’m happy to hear you’re attacking your problem one step at a time, as well as keeping up with your writing. I, for one, like having you here. 🙂

  4. I will definitely be reading that article.

    I know a lot of my issues are job related and were the last time I was super depressed.

    So “free to go” as in you’re unemployed right now?

  5. Posted by Courtney on August 28, 2009 at 2:54 pm

    Good for you! I’m so glad you decided to do something proactive. I know you will find a job that makes you happy.

  6. I think you are normal. Interesting reason for depression. It might surprise you I DO believe in evolution to some degree, but not in the current scientific way.

    Men handle lots of things this way. We go to our man cave and sort things out. Very common. Tried to get my 16 year old to understand this about her boyfriend.

    You’re normal.

  7. Wait. Does that mean you quit? For real? Congrats and good luck! I know you’ll find something that’s more YOU. I hope it is soon!

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