zee stripe! It is gone!

At all times, Lucy wears a collar and a tag with her name and my phone number.  It’s because she likes to sneak out of the back door the moment I open it.  Once, I didn’t notice that she had slipped out, and she was out in the cold on the porch for over two hours before I realized she was gone.  My back door has a screen door that opens out and a wooden door that opens in, so whenever I open the wooden door, Lucy stretches herself up and puts her two front paws on the screen door so that she can fall right on to the porch when I open the screen door.  Usually she succeeds, because I’m forever carrying too much crap to also pick her up and keep her inside.

Just the other day I let her out on the porch to get some sunshine while I read a book and waited for a friend who suggested that we carpool to the warehouse club and to get ice cream.  (full disclosure: the ice cream was my idea.)  He arrived and I scooted her back inside and left.  We were gone for an hour and a half or so, and by the time he dropped me off, it was dark out.  He mentioned something about not having my back porch light on, and I told him I never turn it on, just a waste of electricity.  He drove away, and I walked up the walkway that leads to my porch.

My back porch has a landing that is about 15 feet long, and steps leading up to the landing that run along the side of the building.  As I was walking up the steps, through the darkness I saw the big fluffy tail of Lucy on my back porch.

“Oh sweetie!  You snuck out behind me when I tried to put you in!  Have you been on this porch the whole time?”  I reached out to pet the poor thing, and then she did something weird.  Instead of coming towards me, she turned away and started doing what I could only describe as a handstand.  I took another step closer and my eyes got a little more used to the darkness, and

That is not Lucy.  That is a skunk.

And holy crap I bolted off the porch and booked it around the apartment complex to get to my front door.  I got inside and the real Lucy was sitting on the arm of the couch, one paw dangling off the side.  I went to the back door and flicked on the porch light.  No skunk to be found.  I opened the door.  No smell to be smelled.  Dodged a huge bullet.  Haven’t turned off the porch light since.


13 responses to this post.

  1. Oh my. I totally thought you were going to say you inadvertently let the skunk INSIDE. I’m glad that wasn’t the case. Dodged a bullet indeed.

  2. You dodged a huge bullet there. It does make one wonder if they do this on purpose to get a reaction? Just me? ok.

  3. Ha ha ha… Stefanie cracks me up. The idea of you letting the skunk in and it jumping up into bed with you is simultaneously hilarious and horrifying. I’m glad the real Lucy was where she belonged!

  4. Posted by lizgwiz on September 8, 2009 at 10:58 am

    A huge, stinky bullet. 😉

  5. That sounds like a Pepe Le Pew cartoon!

  6. Oh my. You’re quite lucky she didn’t come toward you.

  7. I love that you said you thought she was doing a handstand! Ha!

    So glad you dodged that bullet!

    I’m glad I don’t let my cats out. Only because the girl cat, she tried to jump off my 3rd floor balcony the one time I let her out, so she’s banned from the outside.

    Stupid cat doesn’t know how good she has it inside. She wouldn’t last a minute out in the “wild”. She gets scared by the washing machine.

  8. Whoa, you got seriously lucky! I saw a clip the other day (I think on The Soup) where these guys were trying to catch a skunk in their kitchen by putting a garbage can over it. The skunk sprayed them and they freaked — screaming, puking, the whole nine. Glad you were able to avoid that. It’s a lot less funny when it happens to you. 🙂

  9. holy cow, you would have had to go back to the warehouse club for some industrial barrels of tomato juice. nice dodge.

    my parents have left the back porch light on all night since my mom looked out the family-room (garden-level) window and saw a raccoon the size of a labrador retriever staring back at her, just hanging out. haven’t seen him since.

  10. lol — sounds like an excerpt from my life, circa summer of ’07.

  11. Posted by austen on September 8, 2009 at 8:28 pm

    Thank goodness that ended up as a phew! and not a pee-ew! moment. Well done!

  12. Hahahahaha! That could have been really really awful.

  13. I totally thought you were going to say that you got sprayed. That would have been awful! Gotta love the Hudson Valley and all of its curious wildlife! 🙂

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