Choose Your Own Blogventure

If you have no idea what’s going on here, start at NPW’s blog and keep reading forward.  To read backward, the part of the story that precedes this one is over at Poppy Cedes.

With just the tips of his fingers grasping the fraying string of the talisman as it spun round and round, Dr. Ansel gave one desperate tug, and the object was safe in the palm of his hand again, however covered in filth.

As he washed his hands thoroughly in the sink, he saw that the zombies in the bus were getting restless, and he worried his daughter could no longer control them with charm and wit alone.  After trying and failing to get paper towels from the automated machine with a few waves of his arm, he wiped his hands on his pants, muttering, “Damn talisman.  Always interfering with sensors and automatic sliding doors.”

He crossed the parking lot of the diner towards the bus, focused on the rabble of zombies, keeping an eye on his harried-looking daughter.  Focused as he was on his destination, he did not take a moment to notice what lurked at the edges of the light being thrown down by the glow of the diner.

“Annelise, are you doing alright here?”

“Dad, these zombies are behaved worse than the Linder twins I used to babysit, and I’m not even being paid for this.  Also, I’m starting to feel light-headed, and I think I’m catching a fever.  Can we get these undead back in their graves before my bedtime already?”

“No problem,” said Dr. Ansel, pulling the talisman out of his pocket, “let me just see if I can remember how to do this.”  Standing in the door of the bus, he turned to the side to get better lighting on the ancient text.  As he reached his arm out so his far-sighted eyes could read better, a shadowy figure grabbed his arm from behind, and a pale face emerged and bit into the soft flesh of Dr. Ansel’s neck.

“DAD!” yelled Annelise, but it was too late.  In an instant, all the blood was drained from Dr. Ansel’s body, and he fell into a heap, half in the bus.  As his dead fingers lost their grip, the talisman fell to the ground and rolled under the bus.

“That’s what you get for writing fan fiction honoring the most pathetic vampire series in the history of the genre,” said the vampire, as he wiped a drop of blood from his lips.  “My friends an I are here to erase your kind and zombie kind from the face of the earth.”

The zombies, now quietly stunned at their situation, looked out the windows of the bus to see black-cloaked vampires, some holding torches, appearing from the shadows to surround the bus.

“What do we do?” the former lunch lady zombie asked Annelise.

“There’s only one thing to do,” Annelise said.

If Annelise says, “We start this bus and we hightail it out of here!” go here. (Malfeasance)

If Annelise says, “We fight.  Zombies vs. Vampires.  Who’s with me?” go here. (flurrious)


6 responses to this post.

  1. Ha!!! The fan fiction plot line is just amazing.

  2. Dunt dunt dunt, Dr. Ansel bit the dust! I did not see that coming.

  3. If only we could get that vampire to visit Stephenie Meyer.

  4. Posted by Courtney on October 30, 2009 at 5:10 pm

    Poor Dr. Ansel! And yeah, my talisman makes it impossible for me to go through sensors and sliding doors. Damn talismans. (talismen?)

  5. HAAAAAAAA! Awesome wrapped in bacon.

    Or wrapped in tofu.

    Or both!

  6. HA! I like how both toilet options started with, “He washed his hands thoroughly.” Dr. Ansel is nothing if not fastidious.

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