But I’m not even IN school anymore…

First up!  Bought a Sentra!  It’s blue!  The gas tank is on the right!  I went 80 MPH on the highway before I realized I had even accelerated!  Moreover, there are no tree-sized dents in the engine.  Also, my car payments are less than before, although I will have to cease my “only two years left of car loan debt!” dance.
Thar she is:

Now all she needs is a name! Any ideas?

Now I can move on to more important things.  Like this stupid re-occuring dream I keep having.

(Cue all three of the readers I have left moving on to some other thing in their life ’cause I’m about to talk about the dream I had last night…)

But seriously, this one is annoying me.  I keep dreaming that this short, mousy woman who looks a lot like my high school physics teacher is a college English professor who is accosting me.  Only it’s not my college, it’s some other college that I started after collge, but not grad school, a place I have not yet been.  The woman comes up to me in some generic hallway, or courtyard, or set from the college years of “Buffy the Vampire Slayer,” and tells me that I’ve missed her class all semester long, and it’s too late to cancel so I’m going to fail.  And there’s no amount of catching up that I can do to pass the class. 

This is, to date, the only re-occuring dream that haunts me.  I think it’s a variation on the “naked in class” or “forgot to study for the final” anxiety dreams that plauge many people.  Those never bother me, since I spend almost every morning naked in front of my swim team (in the locker room!  We don’t have THAT much fun…) and I never studied for the finals in college, so why would that bug me now? 

Just kidding.  Sort of.

I think the meaning of this current haunt is that I have a bunch of shit that I haven’t done.  And I’m a little scared that time is running out to get that shit done, ’cause it’s too late in the day, too late in my career, to late in my life, just too late.  I have to-do lists on top of to-do lists for all the stuff I want to do, but when I get home at the end of the day, I just can’t muster up the enthusiasm to get it done, and I’m getting anxious.  Hence, some made-up almagamation of teachers is stalking me and telling me that I’m failing and I can’t fix it. 

But I can write it out of my system!  Hence, this post.  And I can check “create blog entry” off my to-do list for another day…


11 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by elizabeth on March 2, 2010 at 3:36 pm

    Recently I was with a bunch of people, all in their sixties, all who graduated from top schools, including the one in Cambridge MA. These people were all over achievers – valedictorians, the ones who made the shoe box diorama for extra credit, president of the debate team,…well you know the type.

    AND everyone single person claimed they had the “I missed the final, forgot to study, didn’t hand in the paper” dream on a regular basis, even though in real life they had NEVER done anything remotely like that.

    SO, go figure!

  2. I have a similar dream from time to time. Weird.

    Yay, new car!

  3. Stress does weird things, doesn’t it? Having similar to-do list issues, and crazy vivid dreams about amazingly mundane things – to the point where I think I’ve done something I haven’t. I watched a NOVA doc on dreams this weekend, but it wasn’t all that good.

    Congrats on the new car. Molly?

  4. My anxiety about being too late for anything scares me more than actually being too late for anything. Which then gives me more anxiety. Such a vicious circle.

    But hey: Nissans. Awesome, yes?

  5. Posted by Jennifer M. on March 3, 2010 at 12:04 pm

    I have a similar anxiety dream about being back in high school but being told that I have missed too many classes – almost always this involved a chemistry teacher because that was my worst science class in 4 years. And I keep trying to tell them that I was just stopping by for a visit because I had graduated years and years ago! Why will no one listen to me in my dreams?!?

  6. I have the running-late dream all the time. I also chalk it up to anxiety over not accomplishing as much in life as my friends have. I hope writing about it helps.

  7. Congrats on the car! Looks very cool.

    The only recurring dream I ever had was during high school, where I occasionally dreamed I had survived a nuclear war. Coming of age in the 80s — it wasn’t all Breakfast Club and Flock of Seagulls.

  8. I think the others have nailed it. It’s our fear that we’re not doing enough, that we’ve missed opportunities, that we’ve gone left when maybe we should’ve gone right.

    As for Brando, I think it’s awesome that he’s dreaming about Red Dawn.

  9. Holy.crap. I have that dream all the time! Really, I do. I’m glad to see I’m not the only one, I wake up with such an awful feeling the next day.

  10. Nice car.

    I actually read all of this post, although I skipped someone else’s post today about their own dream. I guess I had to prove you wrong. Sneaky.

  11. sounds like my high school one where i haven’t gone to class all year and am So behind i can never catch up. my dreams of late have been more like action movies – enof to wake me out of a sound sleep!

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