And yes, I know how to twirl a whistle

I passed the waterfront section of lifeguarding yesterday!  I am now qualified to be large and in charge at all manners of aquatic facilities.  I know head/chin splints, jaw-thrust manuevers, and in-line stabilization.  I can also properly use a rescue board, which my instructor called “cheek to cheek paddling.”  Here is an example of that as provided by Google Images:

He he.  Get it?  Cheek – to – cheek.  When learning this, I was partnered with this super shy kid who’s a freshman on the high school swim team.  He was so cute and embarrassed, and probably trying even harder than I was not to pass gas.

Another observation about high school kids, who filled this class: they are not familiar with The Monkees.  When learning to do an underwater search in shallow water, where you link arms with other lifeguards and sweep the ground with your feet while walking forward, none of them got the reference to the dance they were so obviously emulating.

Also, one of the instructors brought her 4-year-old and plopped her in the pool with a purple swim cap, pink goggles, life preserver and kickboard and let her float around while we did skills.  That image alone made me re-think my stance on not having kids, because she was capital-A-Adorable.  But I promise that if I ever do have kids, I will not post sonogram pictures.  Or maybe I’ll post sonogram pictures taken from random animals, and see if anyone notices.  In all honesty, I’ve never looked at one and seen anything but blurry lines, and I but no one else does either.


9 responses to this post.

  1. Congrats chica! So exciting! (Also, can’t get over the humor of the cheek-to-cheek maneuver. Lol)


  2. Posted by Courtney on May 20, 2010 at 8:21 pm

    Ha, that would be awesome if you posted a sonogram picture of a squirrel or something. Of course, the tricky part would be getting the squirrel to sit still for the procedure.

  3. The cheek to cheek maneuver with a high school boy… I can think of SO many ways that could be potentially awkward/hilarious.

    Congrats on passing the section!

    I can usually figure out sonogram pictures if someone actually points out the body parts to me. But please promise me that if you post a sonogram picture, you won’t draw an arrow to the crotch area. I would probably have to disown you as a blog friend.

  4. Congrats again! I’ve already got a photo album full of sonogram pictures of my sister’s baby and it isn’t even due until October, so I think I’m all set with sonograms for the remainder of my life.

  5. I feel safer now that you’re guarding our shores and pool. I may just induce me to take a dip!

    Did they teach you how to use a BVM (bag-valve-mask)?

    If you must post a sonogram picture, please don’t have it as your profile picture on FB. Nothing creeps me out more than a woman who’s picture is a blob. Makes me think she has no identity of her own.

  6. I vote for elephant baby blob. They’re cute, because you can kinda sorta see the trunk. :). Congratulations on being certified!

  7. Oh, also, total crime to not know about the Monkees!

  8. They should’ve failed until they can do the Monkees water walk in the spirit in which it was intended.

  9. Wow, the awful grammar in the papers I’m grading has rubbed off on me.

    “They should’ve failed the test until they could come back and perform The Monkees water walk in the spirit in which is was intended.”

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